Meeting my Soul Mate & my recipe for attracting one!

How I met my soul mate & my recipe for meeting a soul mate!

On October 6, 1998 – on location, in Montreal, Canada. I had been cast in The Collectors, starring Casper Van Dien and Rick Fox. Per the director’s request, I came to the set a day early, to familiarize myself with the cast of characters and to introduce myself.

Casper and I coincidentally had the same agent – although our agent had not been the one to get me this job. Still, I remembered seeing a half naked poster of Casper as Tarzan every time I walked down the halls of the agency. And, I had seen him on film – when my previous boyfriend had dragged me to Starship Troopers in 1997 – it was not really my kind of film, but I left thinking that the lead actor was really cute!

Casper and Rick were goofing around, about to shoot a scene, so I observed them, in a corner of the set, unnoticed. The atmosphere on set seemed jovial and pretty relaxed.  No one seemed to take themselves too seriously. I was relieved.

Little did I know that Casper had complained that I had been cast in his film. He had a point, it was odd casting. I was playing a crotch-grabbing, crass, corrupt cop – hardly type-casting!

He had already branded me “another soap opera actress.” His previous wife had been one, and he wasn’t a fan.

In spite of his less than favorable view of me, he bee-lined towards me with a  big grin, and introduced himself – I was startled by how lovely his green eyes were.

The first thing out of his mouth – “Hello, welcome to the set, I’m Casper Van Dien, are you married?” Pointing to my diamond ring.

I shook my head.

He persevered, “Engaged?

I shook my head. “No”.

“Oh, then that must a f’ you ring. My sister does that – to keep the guys away!”

He asked me to join him for lunch, and asked me if I was glad to be working on the film.

I tried to be polite, “I am thrilled to be working with Sidney Furie (the director) and you, but I am somewhat disappointed that my character is so peripheral. After all, I kill your character at the end. I am the pay off, but there is no set up, no emotional investment.”

He nonchalantly blurted out, “What if my character was in love with your character?”

Then he proceeded to tell me that I looked like his girlfriend. (In fact, I looked nothing like her! ) And I was a little bummed that he had one!

I immediately discovered that he suffered from foot in mouth disease when he announced, ”I love older women!” – it took me a while to register that he might have been referring to me. It was a horrible thought! I had NEVER been referred to as an older woman before!

Oblivious as he was, he had no clue that he had triggered my first mid-life crisis – I left the set thinking he was a cocky little shit – good-looking – but definitely full of himself!

The next morning, I found a scribbled note under my door from Casper, asking me to call him immediately. He was very excited and  had wanted to tell me the good news when he had wrapped last night , but he thought it would be inappropriate to call me at 11.30pm. The anticipation had kept him up all night. – I thought it was kind of adorable to admit that!

Apparently, as soon as I left the set, his casual remark about developing our characters’ relationship – had become a reality. He and Rick had gone to rehearse a scene after lunch and Sidney told them it wasn’t working. So Casper started to improvise how he had the hots for my character. He said that Sidney loved it and that this new twist had added a whole new dimension to the story, and they rewrote the entire script to accommodate this new twist. I don’t know if it improved the film, but it certainly made it more fun for both of us!

That night I had a date with another man that I really couldn’t get out of.  He had flown up from LA to take me out to dinner, but I made some excuse that I had to rehearse with my co-star, and asked him to drop me off at the rendezvous that I had arranged with Casper.

Casper was waiting for me in restaurant, and happened to see the other suitor in the back of my cab.

“Did you just come from having dinner with another man?!”

“Yes!” I smiled. Busted!

He looked confused, “Well, what am I?”
Without missing a beat, I answered, “You are desert!”

Luckily for me, he thought it was hilarious!

The following evening, he took me dancing. It was only 10pm when we got to the nightclub and the club was completely empty – but we didn’t care, we danced all alone.

I haven’t a clue what made me say, “My favorite thing in the world is African drums!” Literally a minute later, ten drummers in full African regalia, lined up on the side of the dance floor and started beating their drums.

Casper looked at me, amazed. “Are you sure you’re not a witch!?”

I reminded him that he had chosen the club – there was no way that I could have organized this!

I hate to use the heavily overused term “meant to be” but there certainly seemed to be a confluence of events that seemed magical.

My Recipe ~

About 2 months before I met Casper, I invented a ritual. Every day, I would write a letter to the man of my dreams – “my beloved,” and then (I know this sounds corny!) I would write my beloved’s letter back to me. In essence, I created a dialogue between me and my beloved. You don’t have to use the word “beloved” – you could use any term of endearment – Honey, sweetie, hunk! –

I love Rumi and Khalil Gibran and find the concept of “the beloved” really beautiful. Some days, my letters were long, elaborate and poetic – some days – Hallmarky and syrupy – other days, short little love notes.

No matter what, I was consistent, and I diligently followed through with this practice daily, for almost 2 months.

If this seems really alien to you, you could look up famous love poems to get inspired.

The truth is that I was writing to myself in 2 voices- and this was probably the most consistently loving dialogue I had ever directed toward myself. I have often heard that you can only love another as much as you are capable of loving yourself – so perhaps this act of self-love helped me attract external love.

Perhaps, I created a magnetic pull through my daily writing and strengthened my intention to meet my soul mate.

Perhaps I called my beloved through time and space (that’s the type of stuff I would write – see, it’s corny!)

An added benefit was that in the letters I wrote from my love back to me, I got to script all the things I always wanted to hear from a man! And strangely enough, my husband often says things that echo my original words.

Creativity is a powerful tool to enhance, amplify and focus your intention. You can use any art form – writing, painting, sculpting, singing, dancing – to help bring love into your life.

Trust me, it’s worth a try!

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dulceest
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:02:47

    Haha, the F’you ring; classic.

    Adorable. ^-^

    Reply

  2. Casper Van Dien
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:12:17

    You are even more beautiful today My Beloved. Thank you for sharing our story. I Love You even more. You are so sexy.

    Reply

    • cat0x
      Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:19:11

      my beloved, do u forgive me for getting the date wrong?! It was October 6!! Thanks for reminding me. :0) I love u
      p.s you could have left the sexy comment out!

      Reply

  3. Harley
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:34:35

    Catherine, I am sold. I’m going to try your recipe and I’ll let you know what happens. As you well know, I see nothing odd or corny about this. It’s very straightforward spell-casting!

    BTW, I too worked with Sidney Furie, but I didn’t find my soulmate. He must’ve used all his Matchmaking Karma on you and Casper. But what good Karma it was.

    Reply

  4. cat0x
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:40:06

    Harley, please let me know if it works! Luv u!

    Reply

  5. Michele Puig
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 04:44:53

    Oh Cat, you know I love you guys and am your biggest fan. However, never knew the story. It brought tears to my eyes your love is so reflected in your writing.

    Maybe, somewhere there’s a Casper out there for me…..fingers crossed.

    Much love to the both of you and the little monkeys!

    Michele
    xo

    Reply

  6. Anine
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 05:11:11

    Wonderful and romantic story🙂🙂. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  7. Rachelle Brown
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 06:03:38

    Well,your ritual worked!! The beautiful Princess found her Prince charming! AND you even got the Happily Ever After🙂
    My heart swells at the love the two of you share,and my soul is drunk with happiness that two perfect people are SO perfect together!!
    I admire and love you both so very much!!! I pray for so much blessings for you,more than you could expect. You’ve been an inspiration to me. I know not everyone ends up with their souls mate…What I have with my husband is close,but we’re more comfortable and content than head-over-heels in love.but I do love him deeply and am thankful that I met him when I did. Someday I’ll dust off the book of poetry I wrote and share some pieces with you.id love to know what you think of them🙂

    Love to you both!

    Reply

    • cat0x
      Feb 10, 2012 @ 15:39:11

      Rachelle, fireworks don’t always guarantee a soul mate! In fact, very often, it is the opposite. You’ll start off with a wild infatuation and then, when it fizzles out, there’s nothing left at all! What you describe w/ your husband – that type of companionship – is precious and soul mate material. Most of the time i feel exactly the same way as you do. Then, we’ll do something that deepens intimacy – like a workshop together – where we are working to deepen our connection to ourselves and each other, and that seems to re-kindle those original sparks – but it’s a conscious effort and lots of work!

      Reply

    • cat0x
      Mar 11, 2012 @ 02:08:26

      Rachelle, most days, the best one can ask for, is to be comfortable with one’s significant other – don’t think that we are swooning over each other all the time! LOL
      Rekindling that passion takes soooo much effort!! Relationships are hard work. Fanning romance requires great discipline! It is not for the faint hearted because the more intimate one is, the more likely one is to confront all one’s demons and all one’s partners’ as well! But most of the time my soul mate and i are simply trudging along together – As i imagine you are with yours!😀

      Reply

      • Jenifer Ransom
        Mar 11, 2012 @ 06:40:50

        Quoting you, Catherine:
        “Rachelle, most days, the best one can ask for, is to be comfortable with one’s significant other – don’t think that we are swooning over each other all the time! LOL
        Rekindling that passion takes soooo much effort!! Relationships are hard work. Fanning romance requires great discipline! It is not for the faint hearted because the more intimate one is, the more likely one is to confront all one’s demons and all one’s partners’ as well! But most of the time my soul mate and i are simply trudging along together – As i imagine you are with yours! :D”

        Much wisdom in your words Catherine!

        Laughter is important too of course. As I see it, the couple that laughs together, stays together. So keep laughing and trudging along!😀

      • cat0x
        Mar 11, 2012 @ 16:16:50

        Jenifer, YES! laughter is perhaps the most important ingredient! Thanks for reminding us!🙂

  8. TingTing (@FuiTing90)
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 06:24:50

    So sweet!

    Reply

  9. Thomas
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 13:16:12

    Thanks for sharing such a wonderfully romantic and personal story, Catherine!

    You may have seen, on one of the movie channels, the touching tribute narrated by Robert Redford as he reminisces about Natalie Wood. He describes how actors working together sometimes “touch the soul” of each other. That happened when he and Natalie worked together on “Inside Daisy Clover” and “This Property Is Condemned.”

    You and Casper touched each others souls while working on “The Collectors,” and it is phenomenal to see how you continue to carry that process to such a divine level.

    Reply

  10. Inga Canfield
    Feb 10, 2012 @ 15:46:18

    Thank you for sharing your sweet valentine story! its so like the two of you, playful, rough, and full of wonder..and loveliness. i love you both! oooXIngy

    Reply

  11. Dawn Gail
    Feb 11, 2012 @ 18:17:20

    I just love this article on attracting love. I have been looking for love pretty much my whole life and haven’t found it. I am going to try your “recipe” for a couple of months. Who knows it might actually work. Thanks Catherine.

    Reply

    • cat0x
      Mar 11, 2012 @ 01:57:44

      Dawn, let me know what happens. Remember, shower yourself with some kindness. We can only attract someone who will love us as much as we can love ourselves – so the lovely woman in the mirror is a good place to start😀

      Reply

  12. Sy Lazovik
    Feb 14, 2012 @ 16:59:11

    Happy Valentines to both of you!!!

    Reply

  13. Jen
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 04:52:30

    I think I was drawn to this post through the Law of Attraction, as I’ve been discussing the general topic of soulmates and twin flames with a number of people online lately, including at a forum I frequent (posting with the username Delphine), where there is a whole thread on this topic. Really love what you say here and hope it’s OK Catherine that I shared it there. Copying/pasting a few posts expressing their appreciation:

    Oh, this is great! So inspiring! Thank you Delphine for quoting this, just what I needed!

    :heartlove: Oh..now that’s a great Idea! Thanks for sharing, Delphine..

    Awesome idea! Thanks Delphine for finding and posting it! :sun:

    Of course I agree that it’s a great, inspiring, awesome, and very creative idea.
    Happy Valentine’s Day to you, your beloved, and your whole family!

    Jenifer Delphine

    Reply

    • cat0x
      Feb 15, 2012 @ 06:03:02

      Hi Jenifer, thank you for forwarding the lovely comments. I am glad that you found my blog and you are welcome to share my work on your site. I would be so grateful if you could use attach my name to the quotes you might want to use. (you may have already!)
      Happy Valentine’s to you too and your beloved!

      Reply

  14. Jen
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 07:25:41

    Oh yes of course Catherine, I told them it was you, “the beautiful actress Catherine Oxenberg.” I am sure that made your post even more interesting to them! I will always give credit to whoever I may quote.

    Thank you for the Valentine wishes, and keep smiling that gorgeous smile!🙂

    Reply

  15. Michal.O.
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 14:44:56

    Hello my dear Catherine I agree with you fully. I sent it to several friends of mine love you

    Reply

  16. slavko guska
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 18:18:31

    i was suprise when i read thet you are serbian princes and you wife of my favorite acctor and you my favorite actor from dynasty

    Reply

  17. Les Floyd (@Lesism)
    Mar 11, 2012 @ 01:32:28

    How odd, I was watching Starship Troopers the other night (it was on BBC3), but a few days before I was telling my friend about the Moldavian massacre in Dynasty – where, seemingly, everyone died… but at the start of the next series, it was all just scratches and only extras had been killed/made unemployed.

    I don’t believe in coincidence. It seems we share a similar message in our writing. I will spend some time reading through the rest of them. Thanks!

    I wrote a similar blog about being the kind voice inside your head that overrules the negative thoughts of the mind, so I appreciate the exchange of letters. It’s a great technique.🙂

    Reply

    • cat0x
      Mar 11, 2012 @ 01:44:37

      Les, thank u for reading my blogs. This is a new outlet for the outpouring of some excess creativity! I am just finding my way.
      I too was struck by your similar outlook to life. Like attracts like. I have much to share but want to make sure i will not sound preachy – so i am treading lightly!

      Reply

  18. Les Floyd (@Lesism)
    Mar 11, 2012 @ 02:00:17

    You write like you’re telling stories to a friend. It’s an endearing quality and great fun to read. I hope you keep it going. You’ll reach and help a lot of people.🙂

    I wonder if I sound a bit preachy sometimes, but I guess we just have to say what we want to say. As long as it’s from the heart, we can’t really go wrong (apart from with the people who would criticise or argue with anyone for any reason, but they’re not important to our happiness and the ability to share it!)

    Reply

  19. Paula svenks
    Mar 23, 2015 @ 00:10:47

    i came across your blog and loved it . I was always admired you and your husband. And love to see beautiful people with beautiful souls.

    Reply

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